Poem published: The Hands We Hold 2019-updated

 

Sharing one of the poems I penned, that was selected for publication in the "The Hands We Hold", a poetry anthology in Long Island, in the year 2019. The criteria for submission of the set of poems were that that the poems had to be based on the theme of illness/cancer.

Anyhow, I initially was not sure if I want to post it (although it was already selected/ published) and as it's a sensitive topic on which I wrote and due to privacy reasons, I do not want to provide interpretations/ analysis. 

P.S. I should clarify some things as they might give an incorrect impression. I per se do not have any biological twin sister, this poem is talking about one of the sisters of my mother, however, both the individuals in the poem I talk about are no longer alive and in fact never even got to know about the other as one departed earlier than the other...Moreover, I have never been present to even be around bedside of someone in a hospital, let alone bring flowers/ accessory, only because of my hostile circumstances, health challenges, and part of my own flight phobia and strong dislike for travel (in the 13 years I was in USA, I only flew back to India two times). Part of this poem does contain imagination of some regrets and what could have been....

 I decided to post as ultimately it talks of inspiration and to keep the faith in God, no matter whichever form or faith...

Here is the poem:

The Twin Balance

"My dear twin sister

I always wished Lord Christ

to come and live inside my heart,

But instead, He gave me a

hole in my heart-

a congenital heart condition:

ventricular septal defect,

a small chunk of tissue

missing from the place.

And look at you,

your left breast closest to

your own heart

a small chunk of tissue,

overgrowing voraciously-

a diagnosis of invasive breast carcinoma.

 

An imbalance, a terrible mistake,

an aberrant error of nature

or a planned coincidence?

one in need and one in excess,

the misaligned balance -

a twisted infinity.

 

I visited you in the hospital the other day,

after your last chemotherapy,

with a soft bunch of synthetic hair

the color you like- dark brown,

you asked me to arrange to offer flowers to

Lord Shiva in the temple on your behalf,

Like the crescent moon adorning Lord Shiva's head

beauty is that which is not full but cut out,

like the breast in mastectomy, you had suggested,

and I asked you why you still

worshipped a God who could not be one with

his ardent devotee in times of pain,

Perhaps, Lord Shiva should also go through

human sufferings like my Lord Christ went,

and should understand pain of cancer

and feel like how it is to lose His hair

at which you remarked with a broken smile-

If Lord Shiva lost His hair

where would the holy Mother Ganges go,

who is held in Shiva's long locks,

whose gushing pure waters quench

mankind’s thirst on the earth?

Perhaps, if Mother Ganges got cancer

she would not need to worry about hair

and no one would identify her tears

for they would be mixed with the waters

which will flow through Shiva’s hair

adorning his beauty as well.

Shiva is keeping one mother safe

In His long locks just as Christ is keeping

one sister safe in the palm of His hand

Which has the hole from the cross…

Both of us are held by the highest God

In different ways, I realize now,

Let us remain united in faith,

A common cord connects both

Of our hearts even now…."

-Shilpi