Sharing some snippets of accounts (based on my real-life events/ incidents/ conversations) which evoke humor :). In some cases, due to privacy, I have not used the real names (for obvious reasons)
1.
3 people (including myself) board an elevator at the 3rd floor in the university building.
One of them presses the button for 4th
floor while the second one pressed for the 8th floor while I press that for the 6th floor.
As soon as the elevator naturally stops at the 4th floor, the guy gets off at 4th floor (who was actually quite fat) and the door closes back at which the other guy who was destined for 8th floor suddenly bursts out," He could not even spare 5 calories to get off to one floor
up, in fact, he needs it." Hearing that remark made me burst into laughter...:)
2.
I go to the office of my thesis advisor who was not easy to work with (let's call him Professor XYZ for the sake of privacy :)) with another senior colleague in the group. The Professor is staring at his computer screen kept on his L-shaped table and so his head and gaze is turned to his right side. Me and the other guy ask him about some information regarding our research project, at which he said that he was busy and was watching some news about a UFO (unidentified flying object) with that picture displayed on his screen. And he without turning his head towards us, asks if I have seen the UFO.
I looked directly at him and replied, "Yes, I am looking at the UFO right now"
(I hope the humor is apparent :))
3.
I was discussing a certain biomedical query with a technical person (let's call him Mr. ABC).
As we slid past the counter outside the office printer, something fell on the floor, and he instantly stooped to pick it up and
place it with the rest items back in order. I saw that it was an artificial autumn leaf which had
fallen on the floor by accident or by the air, and he placed it along with other three leaves systematically.
My instant words were,
"It is the fate of the leaf to be blown away and fall off, don't bother
yourself too much", at which he smirked. :)
4.
There was a meeting between me and a certain faculty (let's call him Prof. Z). So, he goes on to ask me to be compliant and follow certain guidelines based on his requirements at which I questioned back (as is my rebellious nature :)), at which he said, "You got to follow the rules here, as they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do".
I promptly replied, "you see that's the reason why Rome was not built in a day".
I hope the sarcasm is clear :)
5.
In a lab meeting my professor (let's call Prof. XYZ) asked everybody as to what the hardest part was to write in a manuscript draft for research. Everybody ended up replying that it was the "Abstract" of the manuscript.
When my turn came, I replied that it was actually the "Acknowledgment" since it is usually difficult to write for the first author as he needs to thank others in the group and the project, at which everybody started laughing and I was obviously reprimanded.
But the sarcasm was there, as I have based in my experience observed that many authors (who are somewhat on the mean side), do not want to acknowledge those who helped them in their research (hinting at the credit-grabbing that is still rampant in research) and so it becomes difficult for them to write :)
6.
Mr. X: Well, why didn't you accept my request but accepted that of another person, I was so nice to you...
Me: it's not a matter of being nice, it's about getting along, like the resonance of souls....
Mr. X: I see, looks like he had a good tuning fork I guess...:)
7.
(This one has more philosophical tones more than humor).
Mr. X: "Maybe you might be interested in developing a
cure for cancer in this world."
Me: " I don't know about
cancer- that is not my cup of coffee, but yes, I might think of discovering a
cure for hatred in the world, but I guess, that's already there- just that it's
not expressed or used that often, and they call it "love"...:)